Currently i am being boiled alive...

You see the heating system has broken... not you might think something which would cause me to be boiled alive, as usually when the central heating system breaks down you expect people to freeze or at least not be hot...

But for some strange ass reason the heating system has broken in a way so strange that I'm not sure I understand it... you see nearly all the other radiators in the house work as normal, they turn on when needed, and turn off when not needed, simple, effective and generally the way radiators should work.

My radiator however insists on being on, no matter what.

This as you can imagine is pretty bad... seeing as my room is always the hottest room in the house anyway, the addition of a radiator permanently stuck on, on a day which is pretty hot as it is, is... hot... boiling to be more exact.

So now I am sitting here... hot... and hoping to hell my mum calls a plumber around before I am roasted.

There is a moral to this story... or a point... probably.... but excess exposure to heat as addled my brains and I forget what it was...

<Crazy Penguin: Boiled>

Ok I'm going to paint you a scene here.

I'm sitting in the cinema watching a trailer.

A group of horsemen charging down at some evil creatures of some description, aa goblin looking evil... right a trailer for some version of Lord of the Rings I thought. That goblin looking evil is straight out of the Lord of the Rings....

Nope.... this new mass battle with goblins and evil is the version of... wait for it... the lion, the witch and the wardrobe.

Now correct me if I'm wrong... but as far as I know there was NO mass battle of charging horseman against hordes of evil goblins in Narnia....

And then everything was made clear....

The trailer was by Disney.

All the goodness that was Narnia (admitedly not that much, but it's from my childhood and if a man can't reminisce fondly about thing's from his childhood what CAN he do?) ha sbeen hijacked by disney in a cynical attempt to cash in on the success of lord of the rings and turn narnia into a LotR clone.

So that's alright then.

.... other filmic thoughts... unleashed with jet li looks like ti could be kind of cool... i mean any film which has morgan freeman as a blind piano player and jet li as a human dog must have SOME merit... with a plot that crazy it has to be good to convince people to go in it.

So I want to go see that.

Incidentally the French are officially insane.

As in France the film's called... “Danny the Dog”

That sounds like it's some kind of kiddie cartoon...

I'm not going to comment any further... everyone knows the French are mad anyway.

Strangely however they do seem to have a sense of humour as the first but of amelie will attest...

<Crazy Penguin: Is well aware that the French are mad>

For all those of you who are interested in my exam results....

I got an:

A in Chemistry

A in Physics

Ain General Studies

A in Maths

B in Further Maths

Oh and i also got a D in my Critical Thinking AS, but seeing as i didn't do many lessons it doesn't count...

There you go...

Oh and congratulations to anyone who did well in tehre A-levels... commiserations to everyone who did badly

<Crazy Penguin: HAPPY>

Yes tomorrow I will be receiving my a-level results...

Woop de doo!

So now I've got that bit out of the way... it's ranting time...

I am getting thoroughly pissed off with just about every newspaper in the country.

It is not pleasant after spending 2 years of hard work to pass the A-level examinations, and five years before that on GCSE's, to then find that these qualification are ripped to shreds, pissed on and then burnt by every newspaper editor in the country for a hobby.

F*** OFF YOU STUPID B******S!!!

The fact of the matter is that the content of the a-level exams is roughly the same as it was sixty odd years go, the focus has often shifted, but ye gods things change over time and now we have exams which have roughly similar content.

Now I'm not denying that it is undeniably easier to pass the exam, for one the as-level and modular system of most of the courses means that you can often resit to improve your grade, but hell are we going to go back to a time when you're whole future can go to pot because you screw up on one day in your 2 year course? You still need to KNOW your stuff to get the grade on the resit, you just get another chance.

But the knowledge required to pass the course remains roughly equivalent to what it was back in the day all these newspaper editors were sitting there examinations, and so now when young people study hard to pass there exams and so get a good grade (i.e. better than the newspaper editors got), it's not because they studied hard, it's not because they are cleverer, it's not because now people have figured out what you're supposed to do on exams....

No it's because the exams are easier.

Well I and all the other people of my age have worked DAMNED HARD for my A-levels, and I say stop denigrating the damned a-level, and acknowledge our hard work!

Now I shall attempt to calm down and go back to not bothering to worry about my A-level results.

<Crazy Penguin: Pissed off at newspaper editors in general>

I spent a while yesterday sweeping up leaves.

Lot's of the buggers.

This in itself wouldn't be SO bad...

Except last week I also spent a while sweeping up leaves... enough to fill a quarter of a wheelie bin.

And yesterday again I swept up lots of leaves.... enough to fill up another quarter of the wheelie bun...

And I suspect, from looking at the tree at the mental home next door where all of said leaves fall from, which looks like it still has many, many leaves left to fall that I will be sweeping up a quarter bin full of leaves up for a while to come...

And god know's how many leaves there will be when it's actually autumn... hopefully I will not be here then...

Its times like this when i wish i could go and chop said annoying tree down... which by some weird freak of wind currents or something NEVER EVER drops leaves over the mental home... they all fall on my side of the fence... either that or the mental home staff sweep up all the leaves and dump them on my side of the garden...

Wouldn't put it past them... it says a lot about the place that the mental people all seem much more reasonable than the actual staff... who all sound like tyrannical bastards... in fact if ever any of the mental people escape I'll be happy to shelter them in my back garden, as if i was a mental person there I'd certainly want to escape...

In fact I've now decided exactly what I'm going to do... I'm going to dig an escape tunnel... free all the mental people... and not give them back until they chop down the tree... or persuade some of the mental people to destroy the tree... or even better persuade god that he should ensure all tree's retract all there leaves in the winter instead of dropping them, as that is much less wasteful.

Anyway now I've solved the problem I'll stop ranting now... but not before I give you one final piece of information which I forgot to impart in my last blog....

I have found that sixties batman and robin series (which is clearly superior to any other batman and robin), has not been released on dvd or video.... this is a travesty which must be rectified at once... i want you all to write to your Mp, congressman, senator, whoever else you can think of and make sure batman and robin is released onto DVD immediately.

Thank you.

<Crazy Penguin: Wants to watch sixties batman and robin>